A group of Watford fans have descended into an existential crisis after they came to the realisation that the composition of atoms that makes up their football club are, and always will be, totally and utterly meaningless.
In a startling revelation, the breakaway faction chose not to discuss their findings with the remainder of the fan base, for fearing of bumming everyone out so hard that the very club itself could cease to be.
Watford are a mid-table Premier League side who spend enough money on half-decent players to avoid the threat of relegation but generally down tools around March after exiting the cup competitions prematurely.
As such they are quite literally making up the numbers, contributing nothing of any real note to the continuing pantomime that is the human race before nestling gently into 14th position to ‘rebuild’ for the following season.
‘I don’t know how much more of this I can take,’ said one Hornet, head in hands at wasting so much of his spare time at this pointless endeavour. ‘I’m not sure what the purpose was, what I thought the endgame could be. Now we, as a group, have realised that there isn’t one. It’s just this, or a slight derivation of this, forever and ever and ever. Until we die.’
Other Watford fans weren’t quite so downbeat about their team’s situation, however, concluding that ‘one or two good signings in the summer and we can finish in the top half’, whatever that is supposed to signify.