Fans furious at player earning market rate for his services

Football fans have been left up in arms after their first-team star agreed a new contract to bring his salary in line with other footballers of a similar profile.

The youth product has agreed a four-year deal believed to be worth in the region of 100k a week, a fee generally received by distinctly average Premier League footballers who can run about a bit and appear busy.

This particular agreement, however, has led to a barrage of followers complaining about the size of the wage packet, as if comparing to their own has any kind of relevance.

The club in question regularly offer up six figures to mercenaries who would think nothing more of leaving if a better offer arrived elsewhere, and so should have no trouble absorbing the salary for a first team player who has made 29 appearances this season.

The club were quick to move on the story by pointing out that Manchester United’s John O’Shea, the quintessential journeyman, was paid ¬£80,000 per week upon signing his new deal in 2010, during a time where people kept their futile opinions to themselves rather than revealing them in their self-created echo chambers.

“¬£80 fucking grand a week John O’Shea got, people forget that. 80 grand for a guy who wasn’t good at anything and, into the bargain, looked like that fella off Take Me Out! Lingard’s a snip in comparison,” said O’Shea, when questioned.


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