Watford v West Ham least cared about football fixture in history, BT Sport confirms

Saturday evening’s English Premier League clash between Watford and West Ham was the least interesting fixture in the history of football, broadcaster BT Sport has confirmed.

The match at Vicarage Road, which ended in a 1-1 draw, was shown live in the Saturday evening slot, but it was clear from the outset that there was literally no reason to watch this nonsense unfold unless you hold a slavish love for either side and a gaping chasm where your social life should be.

BT Sport host Jake Humphrey did his level best to attempt to derive interest out of a clash between 8th and 12th, with neither side in danger of any excitement between now and the end of the season.

But the channel confirmed on Monday that the TV ratings for the match actually drew a negative viewing number, this being derived from the number of people who asked ‘What’s the late game tonight’ only to turn their nose up in disgust when they discovered the utter meaningless of the contest.

BT Sport has admitted to being ‘disappointed’ with the figures, while John, a BT subscriber from Rochdale but only via the technicality of his broadband router contract, described the clash as ‘the type of game that will eventually get football taken off the air’.

Absolutely no-one from anywhere else could be arsed being available for comment.